Toddler Talk III

While the kids and I waited in the van for Jay to return from a quick trip inside our local pharmacy, the kids noticed an employee come outside for a smoke break. Being a fly by the seat of my pants conscientious parent, I decided this could be a teaching moment about the perils of smoking.


W: Wuzzy doin' Mama?


making frowny face for the toddler's sake...

Me: He's smoking. That's yucky.


W: It's yucky?


Me: Yes, baby, it makes your body sick, and it's stinky.


W: It's stinky?


Me: Yes. Smoking is yucky and stinky, and you should not do it. Ever.


W: Ok. I not smote. It's yucky. And stinky.


thinking this lesson was successful for now and ready to move on...

Me: That's right. Look! Here comes Daddy.


as soon as the door clicks shut...

W: I smote.


* uncontrollable giggles and snorts from the backseat *


confused...

J: What did he say?


flustered...

Me: What did you say?


looking rather smug...

W: I say I smote.


* muffled laughs *


trying to save face, through clenched teeth and the stare of death into the rearview mirror at the big kids...

Me: No you don't. Remember? SWEETIE? SMOKING IS YUCKY AND STINKY.


W: NO! IT'S NOT! I SAY I TWY SMOTE!


Jay, trying not to let crazed toddler see him laughing, says to me under his breath...

J: What did you do? I was gone for three minutes, and now our two year old wants to smoke? Maybe you should go in next time.


completely dumbfounded and defeated

Me: Yeah. Okay. *sigh*